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Hola Chicas! Good Evening to you all and hope you ave had a fabulous Wednesday. The meaning of me posting today isn’t specifically about the food but my feelings about the environment i am in during my recovery. I am not saying that my beautiful house, supporting parents and loving siblings are the problem but mainly the relationship and competitiveness between Ashley and I. I feel as if our ED’s feed off of each other and when one is doing okay, the other is not. But when the one who is doing okay sees the other one fall behind, it can cause an immediate fall as well. Does that make sense? The problem i am having is seeing my sister struggle with her disorder, but I don’t know how to bring it to her attention because in her mind shes doing okay. I watch her throw out egg yolks, leave pieces of food on her plate and basically eat less then 1/4 a cup of beans for dinner and consider that okay? I hate the feeling that my recovery will fall behind because when i first started to realize i wanted to get better, she told me that i would feel the terrible when i almost reach my goal weight which was the point she was at. Now she has lost weight and maintained for about 4 months. I hate to “focus” on my sister all the time because i really feel like it effects my recovery. She has nothing to do with my recovery and is like every single other eating disordered person  and all i have to say is that it is her fault she is doing this to herself. I have given her the words of wisdom and asked her so many questions on how i could help but her response is always “I’m Fine.” I can not let her faults affect me in any way, all im here to do is support her, but ED feels like he can’t sit back and watch. I have been struggling with these feelings for over  month I feel like its just starting to take tole on me. Will I allow myself to fall backwards, after I’ve come so far?

I DID NOT let these thoughts effect my eating for now, I want to do the right thing! I have to for myself and my family, so in order to fight these thoughts away, and not focus on my sister, I had to fight against ED. One of my biggest fears during anorexia was eating “sugar”, not refined but even natural. Anything that had over like 2 grams was eliminated. Now I have come soooo far, for example breakfast!  Time for more challenges…

I had my usual eggs, but still my fav:). 2 scrambled with pumpkin, turnips, spinach and sun dried tomatoes. Other 2 scrambled eggs with italian seasonings and same as previous veggies but added red roasted peppers. 2 slices of turkey ham as well

Oatmeal this morning, inspired by Molly! Thanks lovie for your great idea, and added some of my own twists on the classics..

Banana stove top oats  with REGULAR skim milk mixed with vanilla pudding mix, raisins, buttloooadss of cinnamon, vanilla extract, vanilla bean almonds topped with pb:) Thanks Molly it was great! Except I have one question how should i bring our the banana flavor because i could hardly taste it?

I know this didn’t seem like a big challenge but i felt proud in some ways because i did not feel one sense of guilt. Normally i would use my “protein” cereal and make them like oats but instead i decided to go for the real stuff.Oh yeahh. And now i absolutely ADORE raisins! They fabulllooouss.

My classes in school today were very laid back which i was so happy about, were supposed to get more snow as well! Crazy weather. Lunch was unpictured sorry:( It was the leftovers from dinner last night, pad thai, my new fav. With a side of Tuscan herb pita chips. I had a fun atmosphere during lunch because i sat with a bunch of friends and we had normal teenage conversations. It felt great to feel like a kid again!

I didn’t have play practice today so ate my snack at home, and i was starving! I listened to my hunger and ate what i wanted, which i am surprisingly starting to get really good at. Even though I did NO exercise today which i am also proud of I added an extra 100 calories to my meal plan!! WOOHOO! My hunger signals  have been getting stronger so I had to listen!

Yoplait Greek Yogurt mixed with cinnamon and maple syrup, topped with crushed butter snap pretzels, go lean crunch, almonds, blueberries and Peanut butter! Had an unpictured English muffin on the side with loads of almond butter, cinnamon, sliced banana and strawberry jelly, a squirt of honey as well! Go suuggaa! But all healthy of course 😉

After my snack, I watched my sister take the dog on a walk and didnt even ask me to go. I figured I would let her ED take control of her and instead I chatted with my momma and spent time organizing photo albums in my room. While I was looking at the old time pictures, I remembered my mom telling my sister and I before we went into Renfrew That we destroyed the healthy babies she born us to be and how hard she worked to get us a beautiful life, we never had to go into the hospital before now. I never cried so hard the day she told me that and my mom is a huge inspiration for me to change. She is another main reason that I believe I am not stuck in my disorder. She has words of encouragement whenever I need it, and brings to my attention when I am not doing something right. I can be open to her about anything and I believe our relationship has guided me to the right path in life. So as I sat looking at those pictures, the thoughts I have been having all month about falling backwards, will never happen. I love the way I am and how I feel about myself. I may look down and see a tummy but ITS A CUTE TUMMY! ❤

Dinner was something I have been waiting to try and I am glad I did. I made a wrap filled with provolone and italian cheeses with steak, chicken roasted fennel, eggplant and sun dried tomatoes. Side of turnips and extra chicken. It was soo good!

My sister Danielle and I chatted during dinner and now i am about to make some raw vegan cookie dough balls for snack! I have seen so many fabulous recipes but im thinking chocolate chips crumbled onto of cottage cheese with granola, chocolate pudding, nuts, coconut and pb? I’ll post a pic later!

I love you allllll! Be prepared for the snow, hopefully we will have off from school tomorrow:) In my dreams of course haha.

xoxo,

Brooke

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Hey heyy heyy! As you can tell i am in a delighted mood this evening:). I just feel as if today was a REAL challenge for ED and to test if i am truly ready to give him up. Today was weigh in day and momma says i am doing well:) I am proud that i never let the results of the weigh in effect of what my delicous eats were as planned for today, and some unexpected. I challenged myself with foods i fear along with challenges within “calories” of a meal. I knew i was hungry so why not listen! haha. In addition, I had a honors bio exam today and i was pleased to feel that i had done very well! I studied alot and am no longer destracted by having to focus on food all the time. I want to have a sucessful future  along with a healthy lifestyle and thier must be balance. I love finding new foods and flavors but thiers a time for work and a time for play and i really find myself becoming more balanced as more parts of ED are being taken away from my life.

And so the challenges begin! First runner up was breakfast!

Of course blog inspired i made a green smoothie! It was alright i think i might have messed up the recipe a bit but i would definatly try it agaiin! What’s your favorite green smoothie recipe?

Mine consisted of 1 cup of coymilk blended with 3 ice cubes, strawberries, 1/2 a banana, flax seed, 1/2 cup of cooked spinach, 1/2 scoop of chocolate whey protein powder and dash of cinnamon. I poured some of this mixture ontop of my cereal and topped with walnuts. Also, i had a side of 4 scrmabled eggs with veggies and 2 slices of turkey ham. I will definatly try a green smoothie recipe again but my mother and i are going out to get new protein powder so any suggestions would be great!

Lunch was a bit plain but yummy at the least! Also, i never used to add falvor to ANY of my foods. I am soo happy that i have added a variety of flavors back into my diet and get to taste so many different foods!

Marinated balsamic steak salad with tuscan herbed pita chips and pine nut hummus! I used to hate hummus but that word is no longer in my vocabulary for any food! Hummus is one of my new favoite flavours and there are so many kinds to choose from!

I had play practice today which was lots of fun. I am glad to have a hobby that i enjoy that is not based around exercise or food but just enjoying singing and dancing. I never thought of myself to be good at either but i enjoy entertaining people and putting on a good production. Meeting new people is a plus as well:)

Snack was a challenge becuase i ate what i really wanted and ate more than 2 carbs in one meal! And i have to admit, it was the best snack i have had in Suchhh a long time!

Packed a toasted english muffin with strawberry cream cheese, cinnamon, sliced strawberries with almond butter on the other half 😉 You all must try this! its fantastic!

The other half of my snack included 1/2 cup of cinnamon cottage cheese mixed with go lean, brown sugar almonds, sliced strawberries and walnuts. Who  can ever have enough cinnamon and strawberries!

After practice, i was thinking about making some type of wra or such for dinner but i had a huge challenge waiting for me at home! My mom had cooked up one of the meal i have been waiting dying to try forever. Pad Thai! Initally, ED freaked out and told me that the noodles were too much blahblahblah but then i told myself i have come to far to let Ed stop me having the meal i have been waiting for and i am SOOOO glad i tried it becuase it really should be called Perfection On a Plate;)

Sorry kind of a bad pic!

Cabbage, carrots, bok choy and onions sauteed in sesame chilli oil. Chicken and steak diced in the crockpot with mom’s “peanut butter sauce”, not sure what she put in it but who cares! Perfectly complimented with Udon Noodles! I dont even think they were whole wheat but they surley were delishhh!

I was so proud after that i even packed the leftovers for tomorrows lunch! I was happy that my mom made this becuase i wanted to show myself that i really can eat whatever i want and i will NO LONGER let ED control my life!

Snack, i tried this the other night and i was in love<3

1/3 cup of pumpkin microwaved with almond butter, smeared onto of cottage cheese mixed with cinnamon, kashi cinnamon cereal, honey, coconut, sunbutter and raisans! My new favorite!

I hope everyone has had a terrific tuesday!

Questions: Are overnight oats eaten hot or cold? What’s your favorite oatmeal flavor? The first question might be stupid im not sure but i always wanted to make them but not ure what to do?

Loveyoualll!

xoxo Brooke

Sunday:)

Hello Beautiful Bloggers ;). This weekend has gone by too quickly! This is my (Ashley) first time writing in so long! I have huge news that im sure Brooke already shared, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! Yes finally I look like someone of the opposite sex, a girl! Hah, i cant even explain how nice, cute, genuine, caring, sweet, funny, and fantastic he is. He makes me so happy. His name is Kyle and he is absoultly perfecccct! He is 2 years older than me (senior im a sophmore) and he is so mature and respects me! Anyways, he came over for valentines days and we watched saw 5! It was so scary hah but we had a great time. Since then we’ve been texting till 3 in the morning and hanging out any time we can (: I wish you guys could meet him! Hah. This is a huge accomplishment for me because latley I have been feeling so self concious but he constantly reminds me of how beautiful I am and immediatly the ED voices disapear. He makes me realize I am truly beautiful and I can be normal again. Besides Kyle, my parents have been on my case about my eating. They constantly think I am not eating enough even though I could have a 4 course meal sitting in front of me! Its so frusterating! Ive been eating what i want when i want and i want to get this gaining weight proccess over with and for some reason they dont believe me! They think im just becoming comfortable in my disorder no matter how hard I try. This has been making me so upset and depressed when kyle or brooke arent around. When i have noone to talk to my dad will say things about my eating and they constantly put me down which makes me feel horrible! Also now that swim season is over, I am not allowed ANY excersise until i get over 100 (+2lbs). During the weekend I dont mind no excersise because I can just hang out with y family and friends and i have distractions but during the week ED SCREAMS! When I get home I’m like a robot, clean this, scrub that, go upstairs for this, squat down for that. He rewires and controls every part of my brain. I cant stand it he makes me crazy! I havent been loosing weight or gaining, just fluctuating up and down even though ive been eating a weight gain diet. I have been enjoying some lovley eats that I need to update you guys on!

This my friends, is pure beauty!

hah this was a chobani mixed with banana dark chocolate chips and

dark chocolate almonds topped with melted almond/peanut butter

ontop is coconut and maple syrup

on the sides is 1/2 a chocolate vita top and a mixed of honey sunshine and warm cinnamon cereal

haha i know so many things in one bowl! it was so beyond delicious!

hah this is me in the mall with silly glasses! ❤

i have more updates later, im off to make my lunch!

love you girls have a great sunday, be back lataaaaa!

Hey hey ladiies! This sunday was a big challenge for me because my parents weren’t home all day! Normally, my mom makes me my eggs in the morning and encourages me to eat different foods during the day, so today was very different. But.. i did it! I reached my calorie goal probably a little over, and didn’t even attempt to make any of my “anorectic” concoctions. I did have a weird feeling this morning because i woke up thinking about what i could make that i would normally never make around my parents but then I totally realized that was stupid ED talking and he was not going to let me fail. I wanted to show myself that I can eat normally even without the supervision of my parents.I never really thought they had that much of an impact on my recovery and the foods i eat but i have now realized how big of a part they really effect me! I never want to set myself up for failure so i was determined to not let myself down. So here is how the eats went for today…

I couldn’t capture a picture of my eggs but i cooked them perfectly with butter and everything! They were perrrfecct! I decided on making new eggs so i concocted cinnamon vanilla eggs with strawberry and raspberry jelly (inspired by Maggie!) along with 2 more eggs scrambled with italian bistro cheese, roasted pine nut hummus and veggies, side of 2 slices of turkey ham. These were fantastic and something new for a change. I always love mixing up my egg recipes Whats your favorite?

Made something new with my breakfast cereal as well! I was an experimental mood today as you can tell ;). I pulled together my own version of a banana split, but could use some revision. 1 cup of breakfast cereal with 1 cup of soy milk mixed with french vanilla coffee cremer. I microwaved this for about 30 second then added strawberry powder flavoring (next time i would totally use regular strawberries but were all out!). Then i added 1/2 scoop of vanilla whey protein powder, microwaved again for about another 30 seconds. Finally, topped with banana pudding and garnished with dark chocolate almonds! Lovley, next i will probably add something like pistachios and a nut butter to give it more flavor! and some melted banana! mhmmmm!

My meal continued to get 10x yummier throughout the day, haha. For lunch i sauteed chicken with garlic and herbs seasonings and ate that with some green peppers and onions drizzled with a bit of hot sauce and dash of cinnamon.

Then came the good part. I made a new sandwich that i thought about all morning. On pumpernickel bread i cut slices of velvetta cheddar cheese, avocado, red roasted pepper, tomato, garlic seasonings a few onions and thinly sliced steak with more velvetta:) Fried in the pan with a tad bit of butter, phenomenal<3

Afterwards, Ashley and I went out on a walk with the dogs. It is still SO snowy out so we could hardly even walk anywhere! We ended up taking the dogs to the park because thats where my dog loves to run free. In a weird way, my dog always reminds me of how free i can become if i can do the things i have to do in life, rewards will come. Like after my dog barks at the door to go potty she gets a treat. After i get “rid” of my eating disorder, i will be able to live life freely and not have to worry about food or exercise, i can be free.

Anyway Ashley and I had fun throwing snow balls at each other but it defiantly wasn’t good to walk in the mud but we laughed it off 🙂 In the afternoon I also did some play practicing. Its possibly one of my favorite hobbies besides painting! I enjoy acting so much but only on a small scale like being a dancer or a background singer because i love to watch the real actors play thier roles it is really so interesting. After practicing it was times for some refueling.

Snack:

Sorry for the yucky photo! But it was surely a scrumptious snack! I mixed together 3/4 cup of cottage cheese with 1 TBSP of coco powder then mixed with dark chocolate and mint chocolate chips, chocolate almonds, mixed kashi cereals, 1/4 of a banana and peanut butter filled pretzels! Yummmoo, but afterward i was still a bit hungry I had a slice of cinnamon raisin  toast with peanut butter, honey, extra raisins and cinnamon. Best toast ever.

Dinner was unpictured but i had steak, a buttery cinnamonyy luscious sweet potato and roasted fennel and onions!

I have been having this werid feeling latley about the amount I am eating. Its around 3000 but i often still feel hungry and like i could be eating much more? I’m really not sure what to do because i want to restore my body to the fullest but i feel like i am already gaining enough weight so why bother? This has been on my mind for several days now and im just not sure about what to do. Any suggestions?

Love you all and have a fantastic monday! Back to school :/

xoxoxoxoxox

Brooke

Busy Busy Bees

Hey ladies, sorry i haven’t been able to post all week! So busy with school and play practice my life has been hectic. I hope everyone is doing well, i have been facing many new experiences this week. First off, the spring is coming which includes spring sports, lacrosse my favorite! I was very skeptical about joining and made sure i had everyone’s opinions before i am going to make a decision. Lacrosse last year was one of my worst memories during anorexia. Hardly had any energy, always exhausted and hungry. But ED kept me going and told me i had too run my fastest and eat the least as i could. Unfortunately, this was the point in my disease when my family began noticing and my dad really got on me about my eating. However, the family was focused more on my sister and figured that since I was an “okay” weight then i should be fine. That’s where things began going down hill….  But this year, things will be different. I feel that since my recovery began on the new year that i would have to make this entire year “new.” New foods, new fears, new challenges new friends all new! I have been working very hard on the food part and now its time for new challenges, lacrosse. I want to make sure ED is left at ;east 90% behind before i start to put myself into that kind of situation where my health could be at risk. This week i will be reviewing it with my doctor and ask for his opinions but i would love to hear from you girls as well!

Speaking of new challenges, even though i have been setting up challenges and facing them everyday i want to take my recovery another step further. I try to eat different foods everyday but it’s basically always the same “healthy” foods. I don’t really count all of the macronurtients like carbs, sugars and stuff, but ED has let me know when i have a “high” sugar/carb food that the next meal has to be lighter. I want to get rid of the thoughts that ED makes me feel likei have to eat ALL healthy food. Yes, I LOVE to eat healthy and i always have but even in the healthy zone i would love to set up new challenges.I want to ask you all for help and see what you would like to try me challenge in my meal plan! Any dishes that you have enjoyed and that you have recently challenged your ed with? I want to feel free and like any food choice i make is okay, even if its not the healthiest.

So this week has been pretty sucessful in the kichen making fun and delishhh foodies! I’ll start off with breakfasts this week….

Best Sandwich everr!

Homemade cinnamon raisan bread spread with peanut butter, almond butter, banana and drizzled honey! Had this two times this week and lovee it every time:) What’s your favorite sandwich fillings?

This morning was my own version of a carmel nut brownie bar! I made chocolate oats with a dash of cinnamon. Topped with caramel oskios, banana slices and crushed chocolate roasted almonds. Verdict: Needed more chocolate but veryy tasty!

Vanilla protein cereal. This was sooo tasty! Never thought that protein powder and cereal would mix well but it was amaazing. Mixed 1 cup of Special K with 1 cup of soymilk, 1/2 scoop of vanilla protein powder, banana slices and crushed vanilla sugar almonds.

Lunches, Discovered some new favorites….

All week for lunch i had this wrap which is SOOO deliciousss! I had a whole wheat wrap stuffed with chicken or turkey seasoning with garlic and herb, italian cheese blend, roasted red peppers, lettucs and LOADS of pine nut hummus! You have to try this.

The weekends are my FAVORITE time to make hot lunches so i always treat myself to a warm sandwich. Today was pumpernickel bread stuffed with sharp provolone (best cheese ever), avocado, red peppers, sauteed onions, thin chicken slice and spices. Perfection;).

Also added a side of chicken and green pepper mix with mexican spices, yumm.

Snacks: Tried new things this week like a pure bar! And i ate the WHOLE thing, i know it doesn’t seem like a big deal but i guess everyone has their little accomplishments and this was defiantly one for me. It was a great bar too and i really enjoyed it. Also i made my PISTACHIO PUDDING!! You all must try this pudding it is like heaven mixed into just about everything!

Today was cottage cheese mixed with pistachio pudding, kashi mixed cereals, peanut butter pretzels, chocolate almonds, peanuts and cashews. On the side i had an unpictured slice of raisin bread with peanut butter, sugar, cinnamon and honey! It couldn’t wait another minute to be eaten! ❤

Chobani yogurt mixed with peanut butter. Topped with kashi mixed cereals and chocolate brownie pure bar. This was great!

Evening snack = drool worthy! I’m getting hungry just looking at this beauty! haha this was defiantly difficult to get myself to eat but it just sounded so darn good! I had about 3/4 cup of cottage cheese mixed with mother loads of pumpkin, kashi cereals, sliced banana and drizzled sunbutter. Then dum dum dummm… a waffle! buttered and added some chocolate chips to make my own chocolate chip waffle! SOO good!

This week has been hectic but try my hardest to stay on track. The play is getting tougher and tougher as we move forward but i seem to be handling the progress very well. I have to tell you all an interesting story tomorrow so stay tuned!

❤ always and forever,

Brooke

http://www.healthydivaeats.com/2010/02/hello-loves-thank-you-so-much-for-all.html

this is healthy divas great giveaway link ^  a great giveaway! check it out!

Hey everyone! Sorry i wasn’t able to get to you all yesterday, a bit busy with a special valentine:). I hope everyone had a day full of love and enjoyed the gorgeous weather<3 I spent the day lounging around with my lovely sisters and the night out with a good friend. I went to see his basketball game, then spent the night at his house and we asked each other funny trivia questions. It was hilarious, i asked him what my favorite number was, he said “Seven”. Me: “N, good try.” Matt: “Am I cold or warm.” Me (so embarrassed!) : “Your hot.” hahaha i laughed my ass off after that he was like WOAHH, i set you up for that one lol. Funn nightt<3 We laughed and i finally was able to enjoy being social with out ED bothering me:) It felt so great to talk and laugh and just hang out with old friends. How was your valentines day?

Ashley and I played around in our kitchen yesterday and it was so much fun! I made so many deliishh eats with our new ramekins! There so cool and fascinate me to how they can make PERFECT eggs. I scrambled a medley of veggies in 2 eggs with Italian seasonings with Italian cheese and it was ammmaazing. Also, another ramekin was used to cook my pumpkin eggs but came out a strange texture so i think i stick with them in the pan. And the ANOTHER ramekin :), was used to make one the best muffins i have EVER eaten! It was so moist and gooey with the hint of cinnamon and sugar on top. Perfectbreakfasttt<3

This is what it looked like on the inside of the Italian one. It was a nice quichey like texture (if that’s a word haha).

Then… the muffin! Perfecto. Topped with a smiggin of butter and mi favorito nut butter, sun butter<33

It was so good that i had to eat it again this morning! haha cinnamon is  my favorite seasoning ever and i don’t think there is such thing as too much. After breakfast, i spent time with my grand mom. It’s too cute, she wears bright red lipstick, but always loves to have tea when she comes over. And red lipstick + a white tea cup = cute red lip prints:). She’s toooo cutte! My brother came over with his girlfriend and she made him his own personal I love Ashley (his girlfriend) boxers! There beyond adorable and she gave him 3 different pairs. My parents spent their afternoon out to lunch and the mall.

Another great invention on Valentines Day, my snack consisted of cottage cheese mixed with a variety of
Kashi cereals, blueberries, banana slices, a few green grapes, sunflower seeds, chocolate chips and edamame. Yummmo.Also, i wanted to try flax on toast so I toasted a slice of whole grain bread, spread it with sun butter sprinkled sugar, banana slices and ground flax. It was awesome, honestly i don’t know any nut butter on toast that isn’t amazing!

Ashley and I were having a fun time in the kitchen waiting for our dates to arrive, her and her ADORABLE boyfriend:). He gave her a cute little valentines day bunny with a card, i was just smiling the whole time. I did her hair nice and curly and she wore her new outfit bought from American Eagle. It was too perfect.

<33 love her to death! She looked beyond beautiful and her boyfriend is possibly the sweetest man alive! They watched movies at our house and she said everything went well.

Today! I was exhausted for some reason and decided why not take  rest day, everyone has thier sedentary days and there is nothing wrong with that. I still ate as much as i am supposed to becuase i know its what i need to do and i ate exactly what i want. So proud of myself:) Self accomplishments are the best feelings ever, especially when you feel that ED is moving further away.

Breakfast was pretty good, i was so upset i wanted to make a breakfast sandwich but no more English Muffins :(. I comprimised and made a yummy muffin like the one from yesterday, Italian eggs like yesterday but I added pepperoni, a small slice of toast with raspberry jelly and other scrambled eggs with mexican seasonings with avocado and pepper jack cheese.

Muy delicioso:) After brekkie, i sat with my pup in my room and we played around. Shes too cute, i was singing a song with my sister and she was howling along haha. It was adorable, dogs are my favorite! They truly are the best companions. Also, I sat with my sister as we looked for formal dresses ALL over the internet and I’m so picky i couldn’t find anyything. It stunk and were coming o close to the dance that I’m going to not even have a dress! Bummer, I’m seriously looking ever second of my day looking for “the perfect dress”, why don’t i just pick one already!

Lunchwas something i would normal never have if i ws staying sedentary all day. This was Ed’s conversation with me, ED: “Bread and bananas oh no brooke too many carbs for not exercising today”

Brooke: “Ohhh yessss Ed, bread and bananas, and you know what, I’m going to add some honey too! Beat that!!”

And it was TOTALLLLYY worth it. Times 10000000x infinity haha. if thats possible.

Had my yummy sammie aside of ginger soy chicken stiryfry.

Grilled to perfection 😉

Even though this meal was fantastic, I was feeling a bit sick after wards. Ashley had asked me to take a walk with the dogs but i became extremely nauseous, so I sat down to do my science homework for a little bit. I felt a bit guilty for not going on the walk, but then decided to forget about it. I loved doing my science homework ( i know i’m a nerd), and I had some good bonding time with my brother. Also, I had listened to my body and it was telling me i wasn’t feeling good and needed to sit, so that’s exactly what i did.

My sickness improved significantly before my afternoon snack and i was defiantly in the mood for a chocolateyy food. Nothing is better than a deep chocolate vita muffin! Love these babbies! Made a cottage cheese mess with banana and blueberries mixed in with the cottage cheese. Topped with kashi mixed cereals, peanut butter all hidden under a warm vita muffin:) Exactly what I wanted.

Dinner was unpictured but none the less delicious. Grilled chicken with italian seasonings and cauliflower aside of a grilled avocado, red roasted pepper, Italian cheese smothered with LOADS of garlic sandwich.

I really feel he is quickly being pushed out of my head and i’m am beyond happy that this is finally happening. The feeling of accomplishments and improvements every day keeps my spirits up and my smile wide. I always smile to myself and my dad asks why I am so happy, simply all I must say is, I love you and I’m finally loving myself, for who I am, not what I look like.”

Love all you ladies, hope everyone has a great day, school tomorrow but more snow on the way!

xo, Brooke.

Busy Day!

hey ladies, sorry we havent been able to post in a while. The snow here is insane! We have over 4 feet of snow on our front lawn and we have more coming on monday. Hopefully we will have school off 🙂 That would be exciting.

Today started off as a pretty great day, I was EXTATIC for our doctors appointment because I haven’t seen them for almost 2 months due to play practice.  Also, this morning was weigh in day.. dum dum dummmm.. I don’t feel as overwhelmed being weighed anymore considering i dont look at the number. Honestly, i think that this choice to not look has really helped me in a lot of ways. I dont want to get my mind all wrapped up in numbers but just be happy with the way i am. I could be XXX pounds right now and i still dont feel the need for exercise and i feel i should still be gaining weight so i am okay with facing the scale. My mom had informed me that since Tuesday i had only gained .1 pounds. Uh oh. I immediatly blamed the weight loss on the shoveling i have been doing all weekend and i guess that burned more calories then i expected. I’m not sure wether to increase my calories or not? I guess ill just see about next tuesday considering i wont be shoveling any longer. Soo onto the eats…. I have been really proud of myself latley becuase i really believe i have over come my fear of carbs and having the urge to fidget all the time has completley gone away.

For breakfast, I made my favoite eggs ever of course, pumpkin eggs and garlic herb sprinkled with loads of parmesan cheese. Side of unpictured oats with protein powder which really didnt come out well :/. I have been trying neew things for breakfast besides having cereal because i dont feel like i am overcoming my disorder by eating the same thing for breakfast every day so any suggestions for other carbs for breakfast?

This is what my oats were supposed to look like…..

oh boy i wishhh! Without the cashews of course because i am still randomly allergic to nuts even though i have been eating them! Bad mee…

After this i spent time cleaning up the house of course and getting ready for our doctors appoinment! I’m not even sure why i was so excited to go but i think it was because i wanted to show my doctor how well i was doing. I just felt so good about myself today which i think is a good thing haha. I even straightened my hair for him and put on a pretty scarf to match my outfit. After getting ready had to pack a lunch for the car so made a sandwich of course! My new favoitessss:) considering during my disorder i threw bread at my doctor and told him i hated bread 😦 I apoligized and showed ED how much i actually love sandwiches!

Oh how yummyyy! Although this was from yesterday i basically had the same thing with avocado and loads of garlic<3 This was insanley delicious and i went through a whole loaf of bakery seven whole grain in less then a week. Its just too good:) Side of shrimp and balsamic salad..

Drove about 30 minutes to reach the hospital and i was getting so nervous? haha but it really was grweat to see them again. My doctor is too funny and he actually said to me the other day, ” It’s funny, you are the one at first who had all the issues and now your doing great! It’s your sisters who have the problems now?!?” I cant agree anymore unfortuantly, Ash has been struggling cosidering she has found a boy friend she likes alot and says she hasnt been as focused on food latley. I feel like i cant say anything to her anymore becuase then she responds by “Why you trying to get in my business” So i really have been staying out of it! Sucks becuase shes my sister and im here to help! I talked to one of my doctors about it and she says that if she wants to change she will have to do it herself. I can’t agree any more.

Snack was FANTASTIC! Bloggy inspired of course haha. I mde yogurt mixed with honey, almond flax granola and banana. On the side i made one of Urban Girl Scout Cooking’s homemademuffins! It was delicous and i topped it with a bit of naturally more peanut butter (Of course i payed for it with the itching!!) but it was totally worth it:)

Went to the mall! It was lots of fun  but i get exhausted when i shop, especially if i never find anything which is like always haha. Oh well, i was happy to see ashley smiling and picking out cute clothes to wear for valentines day! i really am happy that she found a guy she likes but i hope this doesnt hold this back from gaining nd knowing what she has to do. I was so proud of myself i ate a DARK chocolate truffle from Godiva! it was insanley delicous! I even went back for another sample hehe:)

Muy delicioso:)

Dinner was the usual chicken fajita but none the less it was scrumptious! Snack tonight i will try to make something special. Probably my new favoite combo, bananas and oreos in cottage cheese. Werid i know but reallllly good:)

Hope everyone has a great weekend ❤

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hey loves, hope everyone had a happy and snowy weekend! For Ashley and I we had a very relaxing and stress free weekend, full of fun, laughter and new beginnings. We had a great rest on Friday, played out in the snow on Saturday and took the dog on a walk in the park on Sunday. However, I (Brooke) have been sick all weekend but dealing with the sickness as best as i could, still keeping up the cals! For Ashley, she met a new boy and he is too cute! They have been texting all weekend and she built up the strength to ask him to the Sophomore Dance! He is on the swim team as well, so they have known each other for a while. I’m so proud of her<3. Hopefully things go well and this can bring her confidence level. She really has been doing a great job lately and we have been supporting each other until the end. Yes, we do fight here in there but we promised to no longer let our Ed’s in the way of our friendship.

So, onto the good stuff:) We had some pretty delicious and creative eats this weekend! I feel that the weekend opens so many opportunities to eat new and exciting foods, and get fancy in the kitchen. My Mom and I have baked so many things, and always are open to make changes to perfect the recipies. For example, we have seriosuly tried about 5 different recipes for bread and each time they coome out completley different. But after so many trial and errors, we have concluded the issue was too much liquid, and we finally had success yesterday! Its scrumptious!! Also, I have been trying different recipes with my eggs this weekend and some were successes while other defiantly we not. haha. Well anyway, youll see, lets get the the eats!

Friday Mom bought new pepper jack sliced cheese, i figured WHY NOT! Need some spicing up with my eggs to do anyway. And trust me this was Spicccyyy. I never figured it had that much flavor but it was delicious, side of my always oh so scrumptious pumpkin eggs:) Had a bowl of cereal with sliced cinnamon brown sugar almonds, strawberries and banana on the side as well. I love soggy cereal for some reason lol. Now after i ate breakfast was when the sickness came aboard ugh :/.

Mom picked me up from school and we took a trip to trader joes and i bought PB Puffins! There nice and sweet, so addictive haha. I figured i would have them a few times before telling Ashley i bought them lol. She was angry at first but then she was just happy i bought them after she tried how yummy they are. I ate a tuna and hummus wrap in trader joes that i had packed the night before for school. Also, this WAS going to be my snack for school but when i came home i feel asleep and could hardly stomach anything so i ate a few PB filled pretzels and hit the hay!

That night ended with a small dinner of steak and bread with butter and tried the PB puffins in some cottage cheese but my main focus was feeling better. I went to bed early hoping to wake up refreshed and healthy on Saturday but i got an even better surprise!

WOOHOO! 24 inches of snow right here in Philadelphia:) i was so excited and since i was feeling a bit better and of course i had to celebrate the snow i pulled out an old Christmas plate and wipped up newly flavored eggs. Squeezed in some fresh lemon, fine herbs seasonings, fresh asparagus, sun dried tomatoes and spinach. They were soo good! Next time I will probably add some garlic. They for some odd reason tasted like couscous haha. I think it was the texture idk? On the side i had my favorite pumpkin eggs and sliced turkey ham. Cereal mixed with banana pumpkin spice and strawberries. Great morning<3

Had to add in the lemon for some pretty presentation. After breakfast, i had a nice conversation with my mom and sisters, lounged around the house watching the snow fall, a beautiful scene. I wanted something warm and toasty for lunch but i forgot to take a picture of the toasty part! I had Seven Grain Oval bread with some butter, onion powder mashed avocado and roasted pepper, yummy. Also, another slice with sun butter, sliced strawberries and bananas Fav<3. The picture is a steak garlic and herbed stir fry i quickly whipped together.

With the side of bread this lunch was very comforting and cozy for a nice winter day, i wish we had some soup though! Would have made this lunch 10x more perfect!

Snack was new but i think too many ingredients went into it so i couldn’t separate all of the yummy flavors. Howver, it did work well for my taste buds at the moment and loving my new puffins! I threw Chobani in a bowl with sliced cinnamon brown sugar almonds, sliced banana, go lean crunch, warm cinnamon Kashi H2H, pb puffins, melted strawberries and blue berries, sun butter, almond butter and a dab of raspberry preserves.

After snack, i went out to play in the beautiful snow with my sisters and dad! Lots of fun we had, shoveling, playing with the puppies, snow ball fights, how much i LOVE winter<3

Dinner was just under disaster. Not anything related to being disorder just flat out a horrible recipe, lol. I loaded a tortilla with cheese, veggies, peppers and onions, garlic powder. It smelled delicious, but was so dry. Will try to make this again but with maybe an enchilada sauce?

Ughhh, too dry! Made up for the dry taste by making a yummy snack before bed!

yumm! Defiantly satisfied me and ended a great day. 1 cup of cottage cheese mixed with dark chocolate almonds, chocolate chips, banana pudding, 1/3  almond brownie balance bar, pb puffins, pb pretzels and various nut butters!

Sunday

My mom and I had another of those attempt and fail recipes but were planning on reconstructing next weekend. We had made a homemade crustless quiche. Contain eggs, ricotta cheese, spinach, sundried tomatoes, asparagus and chedder cheese. Not enough eggs! will retry next week but heress a pic…

Side of my warm banana and blueberry cereal with a sprinkle of pumpkin spice and french vanilla creamer, had to make up for the quiche haha.

Lunch was a different wrap, tried to add lettuce and came out quite yummy! Contained steak, chicken, monterary jack cheese,  red and green peppers, onions, lettuce and garlic. Fried in chili oil and added some green tomato sauce. It was fantastic!

Me and Ash went on a walk with the pup in the park after lunch. It was very relaxing and a beautiful sunny day. We still had to gear up for the wind chills but it felt nice to be out of the house.

Snack was one of my favorites everr! Yogurt with a little bit of almond extract, banana, Kashi H2H pb puffins and drizzled almond butter. Then, grilled up a BEAUTIFULLL sun butter, banana and raspberry preserve sandwich<333


How i adore my nut butters, but huge problem because i am starting to break out in a rash and my mom thinks its from nuts! She wants me to eliminate these beauties from my diet until i go to the doctors this FRIDAY! all week long without them how will i last?!?!?

Dinner was my homemade flax sesame bread (Success!) Baked Chicken and eggplant forgot the picture, but i shot the best part<3

Tonight’s snack will be difficult do to not being allowed to eat nut butters but i will push my way through it! Hope everyone had a great weekend and great victory for New Orleans!

Night loves xo Brooke

P.S Ashley and I bought tofu the other day and wanted to make some sweet treats with it any suggestions? Whats your favorite yogurt mess?